Here we are on my 8th week of Isolation. It won’t be forgotten, as we were told on the daily briefing report on my birthday 23rd March. Well I say that, I still have terrible memory lapses post chemo.  As the weeks have gone on, I was coping okay. Catching up on a lot of crafting things that were neglected for most of the last year due to bowel cancer, and treatments, and my inability to motivate myself. For some reason this week, a black cloud has engulfed me, bringing severe anxiety, lots of tears, and bad thoughts of the past few years, and an unknown future.

I was feeling so positive after coming back from my trip to India and Singapore, although the corona virus was starting to escalate in Singapore, I was staying near the airport and taking a taxi to my longed for trip to ‘Singapore zoo’, and being as safe as I could be, because ‘Im going to the zoo, and that’s that’!!!  I had been walking, even though I had still been having neuropathy problems, practicing yoga, and eating better. I was looking forward to going home and starting a fresh…….. And feeling lucky I got home, as the flights from Singapore stopped two days later.

I moved to an Airbnb near my family so as not to infect my dad who I wanted to stay with, little did we know it was to become our very extended shielding period.  We were doing pretty good, with my family doing our shopping, just as well as we could not get a delivery slot for most of that time. Baking became a trend, until we couldn’t get any ingredients to bake with. I think the black mood began two weeks before, when my daughter Lucy insisted on calling the paramedics as I was starting to feel really unwell with my heart arrhythmia’s. I’m not going to lie, I was more afraid of the paramedic coming in and taking me away, than potentially having some kind of heart failure. it was enough to give me heart failure!! As it was she was back on her shift after a couple of days off, and I was her first patient at midnight, in her freshly cleaned uniform. No one was calling for an ambulance. She stayed with me for an hour or so, then I had to sign a form as I was refusing to go to hospital. ‘You little rebel…you’.

I was feeling a bit better by the Monday so the craft stash came out and Ideas of what I could do. I made up template to make a poster for children whilst they were off school from my ‘Little wee whimsical stencil’.  I wanted to perhaps raise some money for ‘Bowel cancer UK’, and ‘Bowel and cancer research’. As I say Im a non-tech, so its taken me weeks to get it off the ground to even attach a download. But ‘Yay’ I’v done it and feel proud of myself. I have actually started to make some little tutorial videos. something I have wanted to do for a long time. I came across a stop motion tutorial via @xantheberkeley, someone who I had done a mini film making courses previously. Highly recommended. I consider myself now, as a non-tech person, a little bit clever. Although the mini film making was put aside, as at the time, I had been told my cancer had gone further than first diagnosed, and was trying to get my head around having to go through chemotherapy. Lost in my own little world. Everything got put on the back burner, my dream, my creativity, my website, my blog, went to wrack and ruin, everything I was slowly building up. Ten months later, Im only just picking it all up. But I’m hoping there no stopping me….. being that time is on my side right now. If you want to download the sheet, it’s on the home page with a button I created…. ‘Download’ ….Tah-Dah !! Be a lockdown maker.

Every day being shut in is becoming a challenge so I might as well turn it into a positive. As my son is always telling me there is this thing called ‘The web’  with ‘Google’ and ‘Youtube’ apparently it can teach you anything. Does it teach you how do clamber out of a black hole?  Well mindful crafting it is then.

So now I’m off for my next lesson…. attempting to put music to my videos….eeek. Hey before long I will be tech nana, as well as @thegutsynana



Miss Polly x